During my therapy sessions following the death of Joey--my boyfriend (hate that term, but loved him) of 8 years, I was strongly encouraged to journal. I rejected the advice. It felt too much like keeping a diary, somewhat narcissistic, and I saw no value at the time. Looking back, I wish I had accepted this wise suggestion. There is much that I could gain today from the reflection of the Laura who suffered an unimaginable loss at the age of 37.
In the near decade that has escaped through my hands since Joey's passing, I've had so many experiences that extend beyond the grief where I also wish I had jotted a few notes. So this will be my venue to document the day to day, the epiphanies and the mundane. Be warned: I love paradox.
It will be like an interactive diary. And a way to educate friends and perhaps a few followers about feral cats, or the finer points of being a good citizen when standing in line at Shop Rite. For now, I'll start with an introduction: Why Squeedunk?
My mom grew up the youngest in a family of 5. Her brother Bill used to call her Squeedunk when she was a pre-adolescent girl. Mom in turn used this as a nickname for cats. I should mention that my love of cats was handed down to me from my Mom. And probably my Uncle Bill (a veterinarian), and both of them likely inherited this from my grandfather (I never knew him) who was also a veterinarian. Given that I have adopted the term I thought it a nice tribute to the Kernick side of the family.
Cards on the Table Time, as a tag line? Lyrics from "I Confess" by The English Beat. I love the line and it's really how I see life--I prefer it when people are direct and to the point with me; and likewise, I tell folks not to ask my opinion if the unvarnished truth is not what they seek. I know I've bruised a few egos over time, yet for the most part, I think (with my friends I KNOW) people appreciate that I say it as I see it.
When I have mentioned blogging to some people in my life, I've received reactions from "what will you write about" (tone ranging from interest to skepticism~given that I'm not an expert on anything), to feigned smiles as if to say, "I don't really think that's a good idea". Fully expect that there will be some who refute this venture. To that I say, "Don't read, and don't ask."
And with that, I publish my first post. My first real post.