Monday, April 9, 2012


Last week, two young people from my home town were put to rest after hard fought battles with leukemia and cancer. The mother of the young man who died wrote compelling posts to a Caring Bridge page she started when he suddenly and seriously fell ill. Posts I read occasionally in the early parts of his illness and  without fail the last few weeks of his life.

These posts, coupled with my own journey with grief, further complicated by the rapidly approaching 10th anniversary of Joey's passing, have stirred up thoughts and emotions and sheer inertia in completing a blog entry about the topic.

I'm reminded of the Keanu Reeves quotation, "Grief changes shape, but it never ends". This strikes a chord with me as I'm catapulted back to my own initial days after Joey's passing and the unhelpful and actually incorrect things people say about death.

So much sadness. For now, I'll say I'm sorry that families and friends are bearing the burden of these losses. How do you comfort a parent? How do you reconcile the loss?

I agree with Keanu. How it changes, and what shape it takes is not within our control. That doesn't mean our life is out of control. For me it has meant learning how to lean into it.

At some indeterminate point in time, the thoughts and emotions will flow onto a page.

Until then, if you have your health and if things in your life are moving along at a normal pace, be grateful. The alternative is rarely how to handle your winnings from the lottery jackpot.

Wind in his hair, surrounded by friends...Joey in 1999 at the Tuna Tournament.

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